and here i am, trying to mend the broken pieces on my own.
i'm not whining so that you can lend me a hand.
i'm not trying to be as insecure as you were back then..
all i am trying to recognize is my own capability to encounter every single obstacles you put in my way. you wish i will never go through, but sorry to tell you this, i cannot fulfil your desire. not this one.
every time i realize how pathetic i can be just because one determine to leave, makes me sick.
i have never been in such condition, when me, myself, plant some hatred that eventually will grow as fast as you forget those promises, and destroy every single hope that exist. as if there's hope left.
and yes, you said you'll be better when you're older, and yet, i have no time to watch you grow. still, there's a tiny part of this shattered heart, somehow, wishing that everything will be good. even better than before.
realizing that it will never happen, punch me straight to the chest. when even take a single breath become such a desperate attempt to keep me alive.
they said, you bleed so that you know that you're alive. i think they're not completely right. when i said not completely right, it doesn't mean that they're completely wrong though.
there's always be the grey area. where you can find an excuse for being so immature and delay some decisive action just because you are in the zone that not allow you to make one. and yea, it's just another crap that you forcefully pull out to justify your rude attitude.
we both know that you and i will never make things right. then don't come back. at least before every wound healed, don't you ever try to pop out in front of me.
that's all i can say. for now.
p.s : i really do have no recipient for this one. anyone? :p
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